Potato Vice Syndrome

Communication is the stuff of life and relationships.  But, as we all know, it is no easy thing.  It’s hard enough communicating with your parents, children, siblings, and friends. But just try communicating with your cat or spouse.  How often do they stare back at you like you’re some phantom menace, an intergalactic space invader from Mars or Venus?

Wouldn’t it be great if we could invent a machine that would understand perfectly what we’re trying to say?

Welcome to Voice Recognition Systems (VRS).  These systems are now over 90% accurate.  Just ask Siri, Baidu, Cortana, or Alexa.

But these systems are not without their problems.  One user wrote about his experience:

“My computer didn’t understand me.  When I said, ‘You say po-tay-to, I say po-tah-to,’ it understood it as, ‘Using potato vice, the auto.’”

Forget that your spouse doesn’t understand you – your computer doesn’t understand you.  Perhaps you are beyond understanding!

No, something else is at work.  Call it the ‘potato vice syndrome’ (PVS).  This is a new syndrome that describes the vice that keeps us from hearing what is being said.  It is a filter that strains words through a grid in our reception systems that renders meaning elusive.

Potato vice syndrome.  PVS.  You have it, I have it, the children of Israel had it (as we heard in today’s Old Testament lesson).  When Moses spoke God’s words, “You shall have no other gods before me,” PVS caused them to hear: “You shall make no other gods before me, but a golden calf is okay.”

This isn’t a garbled message; it’s interference in the receiver.  It’s fuzzy reception.  It’s PVS.  The fuzziness is within us.  We have met the interference, and it is us.

In the wilderness, the Israelites knew that freedom was precarious, especially when that freedom had been so tied to the personality of Moses.  It was easy to tire of Moses.  “What have you done for us lately?” they ranted.

And in his absence, freedom’s cost was revealed, and it proved too much for the Israelites to bear.  The fear of freedom found a ready resting-place in people who every day asked, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”  And when they were told that they weren’t, they desired to go back to the security of Egyptian bondage.

When Moses leaves the camp to go up the mountain, the grid comes up – the fear intensifies.  The interference is our own self-interest, which isn’t served by waiting on God.  The fuzziness is our need for security not met by an unseen God, nor satisfied by the promises of His designated representative.  We don’t want to die out here, and something – someone – has to come along to calm our fears and set our feet on solid ground.

And if it doesn’t come along, we’ll create one.  Aaron builds the golden calf according to the instructions of the mass of voices – a host of stereo speakers all blasting the same interference.  ‘The calf will see us through.’  That’s what you hear the voice saying.  That’s what the children of Israel heard.

You can’t make it without a fix.  That’s the interference – the drug of choice is immaterial in the economy of insecure disobedience.  Alcohol, caffeine, cocaine, work, lust, indifference, sports, television, smartphones, violence – as Yogi Berra put it, “Two words: Gotta have it.”

And so, we build our calves but not our muscles.  We are a church of calf builders, all misinformed by the interference that rises up within us.  PVS.

And sometimes we fail to perceive that we even have PVS.  Like when Sherlock Holmes and Watson were on a camping trip.  They had gone to bed and were lying there, looking up at the sky.  Holmes said, “Watson, look up.  What do you see?”  “I see thousands of stars,” replied Watson.

“And what does that mean to you?” asked Holmes.  “Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow.  What does it mean to you, Holmes?”  Holmes replied, “To me, it means someone has stolen our tent.”

Professionals build calves of their work, afraid of the insecurity of trusting God for their identity.  Some single people build calves of marriage, believing that they are incomplete without a mate.  Some married people build calves because the mate they selected didn’t live up to their expectations.  Many make performance and achievement a golden calf, believing that they have no worth outside of what they do.  Others make appearance into an idol of adoration, hearing the voices that change the promise of being created in God’s image overshadowed by the interference of a thousand TV ads that equate beauty and attractiveness with narrowly-defined qualities that can be enhanced by the product of the moment.  We all build golden calves.

But while we build our calves, there is one who, on our behalf, is engaged in intercession and intervention.  God tells Moses, while he is on his mountain retreat, that the Israelites have fallen into disobedience, and that God will, in righteous anger, delete them rather than save them.

But Moses pleads for the people, not just out of concern for them, but also because he knows that the greater glory of God is served when the faithfulness of God overcomes the fickleness of humanity.  The crossed lines of communication are untangled by the covenant love of the Almighty.

And even today, as we build our idols in response to the interference, there is One who brings clear communication to the throne of God on our behalf, he who “lives to make intercession for us.”  Yes, even today, the love of God compels the risen Christ to plead on our behalf, even as we build the calves.

It is time to recognize the PVS that prevents our communication with God through Christ.

An American tourist was on safari.  He got lost and ended up in the Sahara.  After a long day in the hot sun, he came upon a native trader.  The tourist cried, “Help!  I need water!”  “I’m sorry,” said the trader, “All I have are neckties.”

“Neckties?” replied the tourist, incredulously.  “I need water!”  “I like you,” answered the trader, “So here’s what I’ll do.  I normally sell these ties for a very high price.  But seeing as you’re suffering so much, I’ll give one to you free of charge.”

The tourist turned away in disgust and walked off.  Then, three hours later, he saw an oasis.  He crawled toward it and, with his last ounce of strength, made it to the entrance.  There, under a palm tree, he found a man dressed in a tuxedo.  The tourist asked, “Please, do you have any water?”  “Oh, sure, plenty of water.”  “Great, great.  Where do I go?”  “This way, sir.  The restaurant is right inside.  Unfortunately, I can’t let you in without a tie.”

It’s time to get rid of the distortion and fuzziness in our lives.  As we walk through our deserts, may we overcome our PVS by grabbing on to the tie that is Jesus Christ.  The interference created by PVS may say it is not necessary but it is only by accepting the free tie, Jesus Christ, that we can overcome our reception problems and drink of the living water freely offered to us by the Lord.